End of Story.

He was standing in front of the sink, filling up a pitcher with water - making a batch of Crystal Light.

He shut the water off, then started again, and made another batch.  Our normal routine was just the 1st batch.

I knew something was off.

He shut off the water again, turned to me with tears in his eyes and said "If I'd have met you a month, a week, or a day before I got married, I never would have married my ex-wife. I didn't know that this is how a relationship could be. How it should be."

Wait, did I just hear that correctly?!  Holy cow that's a powerful statement.  Translation: "I love you, and this is as close as I can come to saying it!"

Quick, Adrienne, recover so he doesn't see how in shock you are!  Oh wait, too late, the tears are here now. My head and heart are yelling WOO HOO!

I had been waiting for 6 months to hear how this man felt about me. Six very long, and roller coster of emotion filled months. FINALLY!


I guess I should start at the beginning.  Last year, I met some pretty amazing people, went on some pretty amazing dates, and enjoyed getting to know myself (and others) a bit better. My nightly prayers consisted of meeting my partner for life, so that I could finally fall in love and have a family. I really missed having those feelings for someone.  Around New Years, I changed the way I prayed - instead of praying for the person, I started praying to be ready when the person entered my life. I prayed for strength and knowledge.

And then I met Jeff.  I've called him Scooby for 7 months, but honestly, his name is Jeff. Everyone knew it, I'm not sure who he thought we were kidding?! lol

Anyway, I met him and thought "Thank God! Finally a man who understands me, has everything in common with me from the big goals in life down to the small ones!  WOO HOO!"  Not to mention the attraction was evident from our 1st meeting at Starbucks.

He loved my laugh. He made fun of my laugh! But he said it was "one of those idiosyncrasies that you just innately love and appreciate about your partner, like from Good Will Hunting".(And yes, I had to watch the clip to really understand how sweet that comment was).

He was the first man that has ever brought up marriage, children, houses, etc.  We talked about where we'd live, what our wedding ceremony would look like, what we needed in a relationship to make it work, we looked at model homes - I thought we were open books.  I thought we were honest - I KNOW I was! Honesty/lying was one of my dealbreakers.  So was cheating. But I digress, you can do the math...

Anyway, I fell for him. And I fell fast. Too fast?  Absolutely...

Everything lined up for the 1st couple months.  It was a bit tricky because there was some illness among his friends, a looming divorce on his end, he lost his job, etc, but we were holding our own. Well don't let me kid you, I did ALL of the supporting in this "relationship" - to the point where I was emotionally drained.


Sticking around was a very calculated risk on my end.  Old prayer Adrienne woulda run for the hills and said "come find me when your divorce is finalized".  New prayer Adrienne thought that this man was brought into her life for a pretty big reason. I trusted my gut, believing that things would get better, that I just met him at the worst time in his life, but that was okay because I was at my best. 

Now I know that that reason was to learn more about myself. My thinking was that if I walked away, I'd always wonder "what if I'd have stayed".  So I did.   I don't regret it, I just wish I'd have found my inner strength a bit earlier and walked away so I wouldn't be quite as hurt as I am right now.  But hey, everything happens for a reason, so here's what I've learned in the past 7 months:

1). It's okay to put myself 1st.  I deserve to be a priority, and what's sad is that the "kitchen moment" above was the HIGH point in our relationship.
2).  I want to believe the good in people, but I don't need to make excuses for them.  If I'm not treated how I'd like to be, then I need to leave. Right away.
3).   I need to spend my life with someone who also believes that people are innately good. Or at least believes that treating others with kindness at all times, is just the right way to live life.
4).  When people are at their worst moments in life, their true, natural behaviors come out.  I'll pay close attention next time.
5).  Actions speak louder than words - I got sidetracked/distracted because I was hearing what I needed to hear. Actions and words much align and be consistent.
6).  Just because God placed someone in my path who I have alot in common with at the beginning of our relationship, doesn't mean he's the one for me.
7).  Make someone earn my love just the way they earn my trust.
8).  Let him chase me. I deserve to be wooed!

I know it sounds like this was an awful experience for me, but honestly it felt so great to have feelings for someone again. I haven't let myself love anyone in about 10 years - I was so career focused, that I just skipped a part in my personal life, always keeping people at a distance, knowing I'd be moving, etc.

Or let's be honest, I hadn't met anyone that peaked my interest enough to keep me around TO fall in love or be in a relationship with.  :)

So now I move on - head held high. (After a couple episodes of admittedly doing the "ugly cry" lol).  I surround myself with people that appreciate and love me for ME.  And I focus on the things I can control - working out, eating well, spending time with great friends, etc.

I know there's someone amazing out there waiting for me. I hope our paths cross some day.

Jeff/Scooby wasn't the one for me.

End of story.